Talking the Talk: Dialogue

“Why should I bother with dialogue?” she raged.

Oxford University, home of
the Oxford comma.
Oxford also expelled the
poet Shelley. Boo, hiss.

This is a joke. How boring would a story be if no one ever spoke? Like setting, plot and foreshadowing, dialogue is part of any good story. 

Cranky Rah is desperate to go over the Rules of Punctuation for Dialogue. (Cranky Rah thinks punctuation is the bomb, but don’t get her started on the Oxford comma. She’s against it.) Fortunately for you, though, Cranky Rah doesn't have space in this post because there are too many other groovy points to hit on about dialogue. So consider yourself reprieved.

Okay, not really. There are two things I have to mention with regard to the technical aspects of dialogue: dialogue tags.

1. Please use said, mostly. As in "Father's dead," Nikki said. Nikki doesn't need to shriek it or mutter it or rage it. Okay, she can, occasionally. But usually, she should just say it. Show passion (or lack thereof) through the words a character says, not the dialogue tag.
2. And pretty, pretty please don't write "Father's dead," Nikki sneered. You can't sneer (or grimace or grin) words. You can sneer while speaking, but sneer is an expression, not a sound. Pretty, pretty please.

“Dialogue is so rocking!” she gushed.

The gushing joy Rah feels about
dialogue (and punctuation).

Cranky Rah has been known to disregard her own advice. In this case, she must gush because dialogue is so awesome.

Dialogue shows the personality of our characters.

You know what your character looks like, what kind of clothes she wears, who she loves and who she hates, how much education she has, where she's from. All those aspects, physical and psychological, make her different from everyone else in the world and in your story. What she says and how she says it should, too.

Dialogue shows the relationship between characters.

The way people speak to each other reveals a lot about how they feel about each other. What does it sound like when you disagree with your best friend versus someone you don’t know? How would you confront someone when you’re in a crowd? What about if the two of you were alone?

Yeah, we've seen them
before, but what a public
scene it is.

Dialogue shows conflict.

You see how that word show keeps popping up? A good writer looks for ways to show her characters through action and dialogue. Instead of writing After he left her all alone to deal with her overbearing father, Nikki hated the pool boy, have Nikki scream at the pool boy when she unexpectedly runs into him years later. After all, there’s nothing better than a public scene. 

“Yeah, so what does dialogue stink at?” she demanded.

Reflecting real-world conversation.

Alfred Hitchcock once described drama as “life with the dull bits cut out.” This goes for dialogue, too. The real world is full of people having conversations like this:

                “Hey, Nikki,” the pool boy said.
                “Oh, hey. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
                “Yeah, I’ve been keeping busy. Um, been at the pool a lot. We’ve had, um, some great weather this summer. What have you been, like, up to?”

Seriously, no one wants to read a book where people talk like that. Who cares that the pool boy’s been to the pool (duh) or what the weather’s been like? We just want to know how Nikki’s overbearing dad died and whether she’s going to start screaming at the pool boy or just stew.

On the other hand, you do want your dialogue to sound like real-world conversation in some ways. Unless they’re uber-serious or historical, most people talk in contractions. They also often speak in phrases instead of whole sentences. Just don’t bludgeon your reader with too many dialogue quirks; unlike with garlic, a little goes a long way. (You can never have enough garlic.)

Explaining what’s going on in a story (aka exposition).

Don’t use dialogue as exposition, like in soap operas:

“As you remember, Nikki, Jessica took up with your dad, Dr. Howell, after he botched Matilda’s emergency lip surgery, just before the aliens abducted your pool boy.”

‘Nuf said.

“But what else?” she pleaded. “I need more tips!”

Okay, okay. Simmer down. Here are a few more tips for making your dialogue rock.

Flavor it with action.

When the pool boy gets fed up with Nikki blaming him, don’t just write Frustrated at how Nikki wouldn’t see his side, the pool boy exploded, “What is wrong with you?” Instead, try:

“What's wrong with you?” The pool boy flung his lapboard down so hard, the lifeguard tweeted her whistle at him. “I can’t believe you think this is all my fault!”

Situate your speakers.

Where are your characters? The sun’s beating down, stoking the pool boy’s frustration. Nikki’s best friend is eavesdropping by the diving board. Some brat cannonballs in right next to Nikki and splashes her. Include sounds, smells, textures and the other people around your characters.

Don’t forget silence.

Sometimes the answer to a question is silence. Maybe when Nikki screams at him, the pool boy is sullen and won’t talk to her. Maybe he struggles to find the words to say he’s sorry he left her. 

Also, think about what your characters wouldn’t say. We’re not always honest, especially in emotional situations. Maybe Nikki’s never going to get over the pool boy’s abandonment, but she’s made a scene and now she’s embarrassed and just wants to get out of there. When he asks for her number so they can keep in touch, maybe work this out, she gives it to him, but she is never ever going to answer the phone when he calls. Does she tell him that? Nope.

                “I’m sorry, Nik,” the pool boy said, running a hand through his chlorine-stiff hair. “I didn’t know it was going to be so bad for you. Can I make it up to you?”
                “Sure,” she said brightly. “Why don’t you buy me a Coke, and we’ll call it even.”

Read aloud.

When you’ve done everything else you can do to make your dialogue pitch-perfect, read it aloud to hear how it sounds. Hopefully you won’t, as Cranky Rah once did (many, many years ago), decide that your characters are the lamest creatures on the face of the earth. Luckily, she has gone on to write things much better than The Pool Boy. (She swears.)